Rumble on the Reef!!!

First Name Tom, Last Name Foolery… And I’m Everybody’s Uncle!    

Including this hard puncher… Mike Tyson.

On Sunday night, families gathered together & turned on their televisions for a night of wholesome bonding: to see if Mike Tyson will be eaten by a shark. Or, conversely, to see if a shark will be eaten by Mike Tyson.

Unlike Evander Holyfield circa 1997, in Tyson vs. Jaws: Rumble on the Reef, everyone comes out unscathed, ears & all. “The Bite Fight: Part II,” it was not.

Recent years have seen a concerted & admirable effort to inject these specials with real science & conservation messages—& retreat from forays into docufiction about Megalodons—to counterbalance overblown shark-attack fear-mongering. Of course, this is still TV & ratings matter, so we’re still going to get Sharkcano. But it’s going to erupt with a healthy dose of education, too.

That said, there’s something just so refreshingly dumb & silly about Sunday night’s Mike Tyson extravaganza. Sometimes you just want to watch something fun.

Tyson vs. Jaws played it all gloriously straight. The idea is that the former heavyweight champion-turned-celebrity menace-turned-pop-culture punchline is coming out of retirement, training to face off against the “perfect opponent to match Tyson’s raw power & animal aggression: A shark.” 

It was utter, diverting nonsense. The entire time it was on I was thinking, “I really can’t believe I am watching this;” yet also at the same time, “I am very much enjoying watching this.” 

The competitors’ stats flash on screen, as if this was a real boxing match. Nicknames: Baddest Man on the Planet vs. Apex Predators of the Sea. Age: Over 54 Years vs. Over 400 Million Years. Record: 50-6 (44 Knockouts) Since 1986 vs. 1454-109 (Attacks-Fatalities) Since 2000. 

It might shock you to learn that at no point in this special did Mike Tyson actually fight a shark. 

To be fair to Mike Tyson, what he is taking part in does appear to be absolutely insane. As easy & gratifying as it is to be snide about the fact that the special is a bit of a bait-&-switch—Tyson did not fight a shark—it is wild to see him sitting on the ocean floor while nine-foot sharks swim right into him. 

Climb on The Family Tree below & share your thoughts about My Nephew Mike Tyson’s rumbling situation!

By: Kevin Fallon

Image(s): Getty

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